Beauty Parlour

Dear Clarisonic…

Dear Clarisonic,

I had high hopes for our relationship. Before I bought you, I read numerous reviews, just to make sure that we could have a future together. I was sure we would. I was dreaming about you joining my beauty routine for weeks, if not months. When my parents offered to contribute towards buying you, I jumped at the opportunity. You became my Christmas present, Fall/Winter season 2012.


I was so excited to start using you, I couldn’t wait for you to charge. In fact, I kept on looking at you to check if maybe you were ready for me already.

But why, oh why, did you have to disappoint me?

Our beginnings were good. I think most relationships are like that. You know, the honeymoon stage everyone talks about. I was in love with your slick design, your dashing pink exterior, the smart timer, even the writing on the back of the handle. I truly was in awe. I have to admit, you are a very well-made, thought-through, beautifully designed skin care accessory. You seemed to be the answer to all of my problems – getting my face clean has always been, and still is, my main objective when it comes to skin care.

At first I used you with the head that you came with. You promised to be sensitive, but you didn’t deliver on that. I thought it was my fault. You know, the fault in a relationship almost never lies with just one side. I thought I was pressing you too hard, but even when I lightened my touch, it still felt as if I was just scratching my face.

So when it came to changing your head, I went for a delicate one. But you still weren’t delicate enough. I only used you a few times a week, and my face was still oversensitive, almost sore. No matter how light my touch was, it still wasn’t working between us. Even when you were barely in contact with my skin at all. Which made me really sad. I really thought we would make a good team.

There wasn’t any drama between us. No break outs, outbreaks of acne, dry patches. We sorted our things out peacefully. But, dear Clarisonic Mia 2, I can’t go through life with a sore face. I’m not ready to do it for you. I’m sorry.

I temporarily found you a good job – I used you on the days when I slathered my face with MAC Studio Fix Fluid foundation. As you know by now, it’s some really heavy duty foundation. I have to admit, you did this job perfectly. My face was cleaner than ever, with not a trace of that titan of a foundation left. But, yet again, you made me sore. So once I waived goodbye to Studio Fix, you were yet again unemployed.

You see? I tried. I tried so hard to give you some job. And I know you did your very best to make me happy. I really appreciate it. But, as it often happens, your good just wasn’t good enough.

Don’t blame yourself too much. My expectations were high, all hyped up by positive reviews from all corners of the Internet. From what I can see, most people really like you. I’m happy for them. But, when it comes to this thing between us, I don’t think we can get past the disappointment. We just don’t work well together. I will probably give you more chances in the future. I am this type of person. But I would be surprised if anything changed.

It’d all be ok between us, no hard feelings. If only you had cost a bit less. For what I paid, I expected more. I expected you to not hurt me. And you hurt me not once, but twice. First, my face. Then, my feelings, my high hopes.

I’m not happy with you. I wouldn’t buy you again, or recommend to a friend. But I won’t make a big song and dance about it. I will just stick to my trusted flannels. Because they never let me down.


Yours Sincerely,


(now in a relationship with a set of £3 flannels)

P.S. I understand why you’re turning your back at me in this header picture. But please, don’t take it personally.

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